Most people don’t understand grief at all even though everyone will experience grief after a cremation service in Tamaqua, PA at some point. In fact, there are many myths surrounding loss and grieving that muddy the waters and, in many ways, make it difficult for people to deal with loss in a healthy way. Some of the most common myths include:
- You Need to Move on from the Loss – Oftentimes those in mourning feel a societal pressure to move on from the loss. However, there isn’t really a way to move on or detach from a loss. Grief doesn’t go away. Instead, it changes. In the early months you might grieve by sitting in the dark and crying, but as time goes on you might grieve by lighting a candle once a year. Also, there shouldn’t be any pressure to leave the deceased behind. The deceased can, and often should, always be a part of you and your life, even though that part may change with time.
- A Death is a Loss – While people often refer to death as a “loss”, death doesn’t mean that someone is gone forever. Their memory, goodness, and even wisdom can live on through the people they met and loved in life. After all, how can you lose someone when you hold them dearly and deeply in their heart?
- Remembering the Deceased Means Staying in the Past – Remembering a loved one doesn’t mean staying in the past, it can mean connecting to them in a new and meaningful way that changes as time goes on. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the only way to stay connected to the deceased is to remember past times. But your relationship with the deceased doesn’t have to stay the same. Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief states, “Instead [of a static relationship], they evolve and mature right along with us”. A healthy way of grieving a loss is to keep the deceased part of new experiences and new memories.
- Staying Connected to the Deceased Makes You Crazy – How many movies have you seen where the widow is worried over and considered “crazy” for holding onto her dead husband’s shirts or talking to him at his gravesite? This couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s healthy to continue your connection with the deceased. In fact, many cultures around the world have a deep tradition of connecting with the deceased through rituals, songs, conversations, songs, and keepsakes. The book Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief says, “remaining connected seemed to facilitate the bereaved’s ability to cope with loss and accompanying changes in their lives.”
- Grief Eventually Ends in Closure – This couldn’t be further from the truth. Grief is non-linear and generally has no end or “closure” when you can sign and move on completely. Grief can change over time, but it won’t ever completely go away. Eleanor Haley from What’s Your Grief says, “Grief isn’t something you go through, it’s something that becomes a part of you. It’s forever.”
Losing a loved one and going through their cremation service in Tamaqua, PA is hard. If you know someone you know that’s going through a loss, you should think about sending them a care package. A care package is a package filled with some of the thing necessary to fill basic needs that might not be met in a time of loss. Care packages can include food, toiletries, grief resources and other personal touches that will help ease the bereaved’s burden and make managing their loss a bit easier. There are many benefits to sending care packages like:
- Showing Them Support – Sending someone a care package shows you care and makes them feel supported in their time of loss.
- Gives Them Time Alone – A care package allows the bereaved to spend as much time alone as they need too but still helps them feel connected to others.
- It Helps – A care package is an actual effort to help. So often people help the bereaved at the service but don’t follow through. Actually, sending a care package proves that the bereaved are supported and cared for in their difficult time.
Now you know how helpful they are, but do you know what should you include in a care package?
Anything that you think would help the bereaved or ease their pain is a valid idea. Use what you know about them and their preferences to help you decide what to include as you know them best. If you need some ideas, try thoughtful messages. You can also go beyond necessities into thoughtful and comforting gifts. Candles, slippers, bath bombs, cozy blankets, and teas are always welcome. If they have children don’t forget to add coloring books or stuffed animals. You can also include food. Cooking and grocery shopping might be the last thing on the bereaved’s mind, so sending food is a big help. Stick to non-perishable foods that can be easily snacked on like canned goods, granola bars, cereal, or oatmeal, or make easily reheated meals like casseroles and soups.
Lastly, the bereaved might not have time to run to the pharmacy or drug store for basic toiletry needs. So, send a care package with anything you might replace in a bathroom including tissues, toilet paper, shampoos and conditioners, lip balm, toothpaste, or soap. Don’t forget to include a note with a thoughtful message of support and love! It’s important to note that you don’t have to feel like you need to buy and send a care package all on your own. You can always go in on one with family members or friends to share the costs and help the bereaved feel more supported by more people.
Remember, a little care package can go a long way. We are here to help if you want to learn more about care packages or Tamaqua, PA cremation services. Please stop by and visit us or give us a call for more information on what we can do for you.